10 years sober today.
I knew this day was coming, and I’m proud that it has, but I was not prepared for the gravity of it.
10 years is a long time. It’s practically a lifetime for my youngest children; practically a lifetime for all of us in a way.
I still have a vision of the rock-bottom day. I’m sure time and contemplative reflection have had a hand in revising some of the specifics, but the scene is fixed in my mind like a mental polaroid. That’s the power of a life-changing moment.
The person I was then could never dream he’d become the person I am today. He certainly didn’t think he’d have a happy family, good health, a thriving career, and a bright future. Thanks be to God.
I’d like to tell you that the first day, week, month, year were the hardest and then it gets easier with time. But that is false hope. The fact is, I’m an alcoholic and I always will be. I is a part of who I am. I embrace it, because by embracing it I recognize it. When I recognize it, I treat it with respect for the power it has. But I no longer succumb to that power. I do not look to it for relief or release. Any promise of pleasure that comes from it is a lie and a tool of the enemy. When I finally understood that, could truly grasp that, it changed my life forever.
When I share my story with people, they tend to want to reply with something like… “Wow… Congratulations… You should be very proud of yourself…” That is well-intended, but unfortunately inaccurate. While it is tough and it does take work, I do not deserve (nor do I want) any credit or congratulations.
I tried for years, YEARS, to sober up. Programs… therapy… medication... Any improvement was only temporary. Looking back, I know why. The problem was foundational, not symptomatic.
My source of strength was misguided and misapplied because I was trying to carry the burden all on my own. When I laid it down at the foot of the cross, everything changed. The source of strength I should’ve been tapped into all along was my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
For so long I tried to carry this weight myself and all the while He was waiting for me to turn it over to Him. In a way I’d never known before, I experienced peace and love and hope beyond what this world and life know. It was a true rebirth experience.
Don’t let me lead you to believe that it was a lightning flash moment. I cannot confess a road to Damascus experience. Instead, it has been a “one-foot-in-front-of-the-other” journey. Christ as my companion, scripture as my map, the Holy Spirit as my sustenance, and God almighty as my destination. And what a long, strange, wonderful trip it’s been.
For all my brothers and sisters out there who still feel sick and suffering under the crushing power and iron grip of addiction… lay it down. Call me and let’s talk about it.
I don’t have any answers for you; we’re all on our own journey. But I can show you where I’ve found wisdom and truth. If overcoming addiction isn’t what’s on your heart or mind or spirit, this message is still for you, too.
He calls all those with burdens to bear and offers peace and rest from the struggle. IIt’s beautiful, it’s wonderful, and it’s waiting for you.
Let this all be for the glory of God, by the power of the Holy Spirit, and in Jesus’ name, Amen.
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