Total transparency here - I’ve never really gotten along with other females. Not because I myself was catty, quite the opposite. I often had low self-esteem but simultaneously, never saw fit to deal with the combativeness of my female peers. I can actually remember feeling the glares or hearing the snickering as I struggled to fit in and do the cool things, like straightening my hair and wearing the “in” clothes.
My sister had moved out of the home while I was still in elementary school and my mother became deathly sick while I stumbled into adolescence, so I never really had a female figure to help me figure out how to straighten my hair or what shade of make-up to buy. Regardless, my mom did teach me the most valuable lesson of all - true beauty comes from within.
I know this to be true, especially now that I am a woman in the pits of adulthood. Oftentimes, I joke with others that I want a refund because as a little kid, I was never told about the ins-and-outs of being an adult. All of the responsibilities and deadlines. Stretch marks and dark circles under my eyes. Evenso, I was lucky enough to be taught that no matter the valley, trust in the Lord.
After managing to survive the jungle of high school, it comes as no surprise that I quickly learned how judgemental people, specifically females, can be of others. We can be downright savage to each other. To the woman who just gave birth and is struggling to hold herself together, we say, “gosh, she needs to lose that baby weight.” That same baby weight we praised and coddled as the baby grew within her. To the woman getting her nails done once a month as a mode of self care, we scoff and roll our eyes. We wonder, “oh, how can she afford to get her nails done and her kid is wearing shoes from wal-mart.” We sit in church and gasp, “my goodness, she has eyeliner on! Get the pastor!” Let’s examine this narrative and see what the Good Book has to say about this.
The most well known quote on outward appearances is 1 Peter 3:3-5 Do not let your adorning be external - the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear, but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.”
With this verse alone, it is no question that most people take a conservative approach in their outward appearance, but, if we continue to read, we see in Proverbs, “strength and dignity are her clothing” (31v.25). Breaking this verse down, (1) strength here is referring to strength of the mind/decision making, and (2) dignity as defined by the Oxford dictionary, is (A) the state or quality of being worthy of honor or respect, and (B) a sense of pride in oneself; self-respect. I believe that too much of anything (pride) can be a bad thing, but it totes a fine line. Let’s put it this way, if you went to the doctor, and he/she walked in in flip-flops, torn shorts, and a sweaty, oil-stained shirt, would you really feel comfortable during an examination. Would you put value into the diagnosis or regimen they wanted you to follow? Probably not. So what do we do with the instruction from God?
Proverbs 3:15-17 states this of a Godly woman - “she is more precious than jewels, and nothing you desire can compare with her…Her ways are ways of pleasantness and all her paths are peace." A jewel is typically a stone of great beauty, not a piece of gravel laying in the driveway. A jewel is treasured and given tender care. Friend, you are a jewel. Rest in the truth that no matter how you look, Jesus loves you. He is holding you. If you're in your sweatpants and haven't showered in a few days, He is still by your side. BUTTTT….
Jesus wants you to see yourself the way He sees you. Look back at the verses we read earlier. Do you see those words that have been italicized? Wanna know what they have in common? They speak softly of the tender love that the Lord has for you. They show us how we should love others, and how beauty should START from within. Once the beauty happens on the inside (through salvation from the Lord), it will overflow to the outside. You will then be able to have paths of peace and pleasantness, and then you will have imperishable beauty. For this reason, I have no shame when I am able to muster the time and energy to take care of my outward self. I know that Jesus wants others to see me the way He sees me. The mornings when I am able to put on my mascara, I conquer the world in a spirit that shines from the inside out. I know I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength, and there is strength in putting my jeans on, dabbing a bit of make-up here and there, and walking out the door. I smile, I’m more willing to stop and help others, I’m less anxious about small talk in the checkout line. This morning, after you read your bible and pray, put your best foot forward. Love Jesus, love others, and show the world that you are a precious jewel in his sight.
Cover Photo By Stephany Lorena
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